SDHWSG!

I went hiking today. Again.
I went alone. Again.
I went in the morning. Again.
I cycled there myself. Again.

Unlucky me. I saw few Aunties today. Gosh they were so talkative. They can talk about everything. Plus, they mentioned something like "the bride is 3 years older than the groom".
1st time I got so offended with them.
In my mind: What's wrong with a older girl marrying a younger guy?
Swt -.-

I walked past them. But they were not slow either. In the end, I gave up. 1st time in my life. I gave up hiking up Bukit Pelindung. I stood there. Too exhausted. Panting hard. My feet urged me to turn around and go down.

Looking those talkative women in front of me. I turned around and started walking down. I felt like I'm defeated. Why didn't I have the strength to carry on?

Was it because I lost someone? Or because I got someone? I think I still miss her. Very much. Which is a bad thing. Sorry, Chien Li. I've disappointed you.

Suddenly God spoke: You shouldn't give up so easily. What have I been teaching you?
I stopped. Yeah, He's right. Why should I give up so easily? Where's that strong and courageous Jasmine?

I turned around and started walking up again. Real slow. Enjoying God's presence. Enjoying Pelindung's nature path. Which I didn't have time to do that usually.






Tut tut tut...


I went back to school to look for my 2nd life. For those who know what's my 2nd life. yeah I lost it and have been looking up and down for it.
That's when I saw that SDHWSG.
And I got scolded for going into the school.
What is wrong with him?!

A visit...

Compressing my mixed feelings and emotions, I went up to Bukit Pelindung. Disappointment, anger, hatred, fear. I once heard someone said whenever she's sick or angry, she'd go exercise. I can understand if she says angry, but sick? how to hike or exercise when someone is sick? But I found it quite helpful.

Independent girl like me hates depending on medicine to get well after fell sick. I forced myself to walk up quickly. Not with the speed that I'm used to. Though I couldn't really breathe on the way up, but I forced myself up no matter what.

I was trying hard to get a new record of reaching one of the peak and come down in a shorter time. So, nothing much happened. Sweated so much! After 2 weeks of not going to Pelindung because of my hair, even I went today and I'm back, I still miss Pelindung =(

I was timing very carefully. According to my experience, I shouldn't be around the foot of Pelindung at 6ish so that I can avoid seeing someone and that she can avoid seeing me. Which the latter is the main point. When I reached the foot, I was relieved though I saw her dad. Should I say hi? Should I greet him? Did he recognize me? He didn't smile when he turned back and glanced at me. So I guess he didn't recognize me. Blah~

Relieved because I only used 42 minutes to finish hiking up and down. My new record!!! I'm so proud of myself. Though it's not really fast, which Jo said he only needs 30 minutes, but I'm working hard here!

Inevitably, I saw her. She shouldn't be there at that time. But it's just hard to avoid. She saw me, I saw her. Same questions in my mind. Should I say hi? Should I greet her?
Benjamin: JazZ! You're supposed to avoid her! If not, what's the timing all about?
Straight away I looked in front and walked off. Then I used my towel to cover my face. I was keep repeating: Owh my gosh! Owh my gosh! Owh my gosh!
I panicked. Though it's nothing, but I hate that feeling. we were once quite close, at least we greet when we see each other. Now? Avoiding and walking off. I almost cried. But I knew I can't cry. I couldn't cry there. Plus my mum was coming. Can't let her see my tears flowing down after hiking Pelindung.

I forced my tears back again. How depressing.

At night, MYFers were supposed to go to church for choir practice. In my car I was in my gloomy mood, til I was thinking to just lean on Chien Li's shoulder and express everything to her. I wouldn't force back my tears if they're about to flow out. But then, the Holy Spirit spoke to me. He said I shouldn't be like this. I can't say that I'm weak and just be weak. I have to be strong and stay strong. It's not gonna be easy so I have to get up! No point mourning for nothing. Well, I made the Spirit to talk in slow motion 'cause I was still down and tired. Couldn't really digest His scoldings =X
So, I'll just get up and at least forget about what happened in the evening for a while. At least forget about it when I was with the MYFers. So that's what I did.

Jasmine was back! V

LOL. Being DFA. Being myself!

I can play the guitar! [not]

Then as usual, we went for supper. Mainly because I was following Enwei's car and she hasn't taken her dinner. [As usual]
Alisson and Alfred followed too! And we had fun!
We went to this restaurant which I didn't know it existed until today.

Restaurant Chan Poh something?

This was the Yam Bun I had for supper.
See that purple dot on top?

And these were: Fork Grilled Bun.
[directly translated from Cantonese.]

And of course! the Siew Mai!
My nickname =X

Enwei started laughing at expressions that I made. Owh c'mon! I can't see my expression! I wanna laugh too! At last there's someone that can talk to me about the "expressions" and "faces" that I make. Hello?! It's natural okie? I won't realize that I'm actually doing that! She took some photos of me when I was talking. tried out how I'd look like when i'm "expressionless". Which always gives other people an impression that I'm angry aka bu shuang. But at least they told me the disadvantages of those expressions. Instead of judging me just like that. Need to put mirror everywhere so that I can be aware of my expression. Laugh at myself all the time.

-Swt!-

happy but yet confused...

Whee~~ I'm back from Bukit Pelindung again...

In the beginning, something confusing happened.
Why do our brains have so much of space to think about useless & pointless stuff & act it out? Can't you leave us alone?!?!
My mood was absolutely affected by what happened.
"Why" was the only word in my mind. Well not exactly the only word.
But I knew I can't hang onto my bad mood for long.
Hey! I was hiking! Why don't I enjoy this time with mother nature & forget about all the others for just 1 hour?
I did. I started feeling more relaxed & cooled down. And took photos!

This is only one of it ^__^

Though I went with someone,
but it felt like I was totally alone.
I knew I can't catch up with her speed,
but yet she forgotten about me!
Hello? Normal human hiking here.
Can't you slow down???

I sweated a lot. Which was a good thing.
At last had the chance to talk.
That's the whole point! TALK.
Blahblahblah...
Quite pointless chit-chat but we can't only talk about serious stuff all the time.
Chit-chat, have fun, laughing together sound much attractive...
As usual I had a good time, but still have to worry what others knew about us.

-crooked smile-
-Ben'JazZ xD-