Yoyoyo!!

Sorry for updating for so long. I was.....well, occupied. Officially an Uni student 3 weeks ago. I love INTI. It's all I could ever asked for :D

But one issue there is the internet connection. Super terrible. I believe they're gonna fix it soon. The line is so bad that I couldn't blog at all and have to come back to Kuantan to blog. Then I realized that my lappie just couldn't blog. Which is frustrating. How to solve this problem? :(

First time being really away from parents and nope, I'm not having any problem with that because...

I will survive! :D

Let me introduce some new friends I met during OLE which is a short form for Orientation. 

This is my leader in my group. Funny guy xD

This is Crystal, my roommate. She's just like a small girl. 

I feel like I'm taking care of her all the time. Owh well :)

This is the group photo of the March intake newbies. They said we're few in numbers compared to the January intake batch =|

This is my group picture. Our group name is Rango. Don't ask why.

I'm in red. And that's Ah Yao next to me. If you're following my tweets then you'd know who I'm talking about now.

Ah Yao is acting a lil' weird recently and people think it's my fault. 

Well heyy! I didn't do anything. *innocent face*

Yao Yao. Where have you been? I missed you :'(

That's all for now. Yesterday was mum's birthday and also 1st night of Revo Kuantan. Surprisingly dad allowed me to drive to MS Garden for Revo after dinner. Having faith in the Lord works! Can't wait for tonight's PARTY :D

Good & Bad

It has been almost 2 months since the least time I cut my hair at Maroon. Then I thought I wanted to cut again because all the split ends are waving happily saying 'Hi' -.-

So since I can't afford another expensive haircut by the pro, I decided to go the not-so-pro saloon. I always go to the saloon when I was youngER. Yeah. Then I went. 

Everyone was occupied and I didn't wanna wait, so I told her I want it done before 5 and mine's a quick trim. She did layered for my hair. I was about to cry but I didn't have the guts to tell her: "I don't want layered."

She took less than 10 minutes to trim my hair and the one thing came to my mine was: I'm so gonna regret cutting it. The next second, what I thought happened. 

I shall call it the worse haircut I have got in my LIFE! That shows how bad it is,huh. It's almost shoulder length,which means it's TOO short and it's curling. Because it's at the shoulder. You know what I'm saying ;)  

Urgh! I'd rather get killed than someone killing my 1st life. Owh, my hair = my 1st life :D

Let's go to the good stuff. I was supposed to hang out with Abang Ly after his work and let me tell you: A phone with no credit is the worst thing that can happen to a person when you needed it the most. well, I needed him to have credit, at least >_<

It didn't work out. It was....depressing! So, we went today instead! After I reached home, I realized why God didn't let it happen yesterday. We had a good time at McDonalds. Talking and chit-chatting ALOT. He's just too nice to talk to laa~

When I was editing this pic, I realized he really looks like a typical Malay guy! And this picture looks abit, well, misleading. We had a great time and I'm always laughing when we're talking. When I was still working and now that I'm not, we can always converse well and he makes people(me especially) laugh without him knowing. He paused to let me finish laughing 1st. WAHAHAHAHA :P


Nah~ One of the best man in the world is taken. And he's gonna be a daddy in another.... 5 months? =|








And of course the best part, at last I got this wedges that I wanted SO badly! Abang Ly helped me try though. It's surprisingly gentle of him to help me with the wedges. A big PLUS! xD

I think it looks really nice! :D

Thanks, Daddy ;)

T_T

I wanted to put "Torture" as the title for this post, but I'm afraid it'll cause some misunderstanding. TorTure = T_T

Haha. Just nice! So now I'd think when someone puts T_T , he/she means "torture" xD

So, it's the 9th day I'm in KL already. Things have been quite tough. But some things are nice too. I realized I haven't been posting much about my spiritual life which I think I should do that more often...?

I wasn't in a good mood starting yesterday morning when some random guy came & tell me that the release of SPM results is this Wednesday(tomorrow!) D: WHAT?!?! So soon?! And STPM results were out yesterday. I didn't know Malaysian examiners are so efficient in carrying out their responsibilities! 

I wanted to go back. The original plan was to go back on Friday but now, I wanna go back even sooner. NOW if possible. No, I'm not homesick, but I just don't like it here.I packed my stuff and if God permits, He'll provide bus ticket for me to go back to Kuantan.

Both my sisters are so bossy, I can say. I wonder why aren't they like other girls who are so nice to their siblings. Its in the blood maybe? I'm so tired of people telling me what I should & should NOT do. I'd appreciate them if they're good advises but sorry, they're not. Why can't I do it my way? Who made you king of everything? 

I was stressed out and didn't feel good. I didn't even eat dinner and I don't feel hungry until now. The DiGi internet thingy is killing me. I didn't click anything and it charges like ALOT! 3 bucks gone in a few seconds. Hello? What's wrong with you?

I cried. I cried to God. I complained about almost everything. He shunned me from complaining and He made me listen to what He wanted to say. He talked to me and it was so real. Why am I feeling so stressed is not I don't tell Him EVERYTHING. 

Telling Him big stuff is not what He wants from me. He wants EVERYTHING. every single feeling I have(especially the sad ones). Then I started listing out all the distaste I'm keeping to myself. And of course, He reminded me of the good things that happened too. I felt so much better. 

1 Peter 5:7 says Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

It says ALL. Not SOME. Not a FEW. This is what I learnt from Him yesterday. I feel better,but still a lil' bitter. But I'm learning to trust Him for better things to come. Amen!

=O

Can't believe I haven't been updating after so long. It has been fast, after 1 month I worked in mega View Hotel, Kuantan, now I'm officially a KL girl. Well, that sounds kinda bad. I wanna go back home, in exact, go back to MVH. Owh how I miss that time.

Here, its a early night late morning culture. I didn't really have a culture-shock but I really hope I can have a normal working hours and mealtime. for the past 2 days I bathed after 12am because I had dinner during supper. That's bad! I know.

The most visible update, I got myself a specs. After 6 years of waiting, at last I got it. I  have been fond of wearing specs since I was 12 (this explains the 6 years part) but my eyesight is still good. Thank God! But I'm using the PC most of the time and now that I have a smarter-than-the-one-I-had phone, a specs with computer lens seems quite appropriate,yeah?

I took such a long time to try on different frames because I REALLY don't look good in specs. And after getting the one that I thought it's the best, I still don't look very nice :(

Then,my extra income is when the company has events and they need people to help.Like my case,I get extra pay if it's an outside event. This Friday which is tomorrow, I'm supposed to do nail art! Which gave me quite a valid excuse to paint my nails. It's my very 1st time painting them in black. All this while I only have nail polish in the pink color family. And I put on nail stickers too! I feel so 'lala' suddenly D:

Office isn't really an office. It's a house but we are supposed to do office work here. So, I'm here. And there are animals in this house too. Why? Adran aka Jelly is a clown and magician and...(he multi-tasks) so he needs some animals to enhance his magic tricks. At the back, there are pigeons and rabbits! Besides, there's a dog too. I don't know what is she doing here laa. Her name is Tomato. Quite cute but nobody bathes her. That's quite sad hor... 

 She's super active when she sees me. May be because I'm the only that plays with her in the house? Yeah. I think so too. Kinda wish Terry is as active as her. But Terry is TOO big >_<

Yesterday they brought me to this Taman Cahaya place which is actually Taman Pertanian Malaysia. I didn't know they have Taman Pertanian in Selangor too. The only place I have been so far that has so many trees! Haha. Trees are endangered species in the KL/Selangor area laa, right? :)

 This is the orchard. 

Durians on a tree! :D

I didn't go there to play or for visitation laa~ The is an event tomorrow that will be carried out there so we went to look around the place. 

So that's about it for now. Praying for the best to come :D

Bye Bye 2010, Hello 2011

Aiyor, I haven't been blogging for SOO long. *Blows away dust*


Well, Today is the last day of 2010. *speechless* 
I don't know what to say. This year has been quite tough. SPM and all. Church is bad. He is bad -.-

So I pray for better years to come. Go to anywhere but Kuantan. Future is abit blur~ Though I got the scholarship I have always praed for, but dad says it must be 100% tuition fee waiver. If not, I can't take it. That's just pathetically pathetic. It is God's blessing to even get a scholarship but dad is expecting a full scholarship =[


Well, keep praying and have faith in the Lord. That's all I can do.

Uncle gave a digital camera (DC) and I'm announcing it as mine. Well, it's a very old model but it's better than nothing raite? Raite.

2011 is a year of fulfillment of my dreams, a year where dreams come true. Including getting myself a DSLR with my own pay. Means I earn myself to get a DSLR. Now I got the DC, sounds like God is saying: 'You're not getting your DSLR next year so the DC is a temporary replacement. '

LOL. I hope that's my imagination run wild. God won't say that, raite? raite? raite?


I'm gonna cut my hair later. New hair for a new year. owh yeah! No regrets :DD

Anxiety and frustrations. But this is a chance for me to learn to trust in the Lord more.

Peace! ^_^ V

可是我喜欢他

两个礼拜前

我遇见了他

他对着我

笑了

非常非常灿烂的

微笑

我顿时愣着了

不知道要怎么做

对他微笑吗?

还是掉头就走?

我

脸红了

走吧~

我走来走去

不知道要干吗

他

却一直在注意着我

他叫我了

叫我参加一个义工社团

他说, 要接触明星就要参加

参加就参加咯

我填了表格

把需要的资料都给了

他看到我的名

就问: “你的名是茉莉花吗?

原来你是茉莉花! 原来你是茉莉花!”

我翻了个白眼想:

“真没常识!”

临走前,

他还附加了一个灿烂的微笑

他给我的第一印象

非常好

而且他还蛮好看

晚上

他利用我的资料

传短信给我

“茉莉花! 茉莉花! 茉莉花! 茉莉花…小姐! 要接触明星是不难的”

虽然他乱用我报名的资料

但我一点也不介意

心里还有一丝的欢喜

跟他相处了一段时间

我发现我越来越喜欢他

我间接式问他对我的感觉

他否认了

明明就喜欢

就是不肯认

可是我喜欢他

他的英文

烂到爆

简单的英文

听不明

简单的英文

讲不出

我一生中教过多少个人英文?

竟然喜欢一个不会听不会讲英文的家伙?!

可是我喜欢他

工作的他

过几个小时才会回一封信

天天等到傻了

都一定要等到

他根本就没空理我

可是我喜欢他

认识几天就被伤几次了

常被欺负

因为喜欢,所以在乎

可是我喜欢他

慢慢的

盲目的我发现了

原来我并没有很喜欢他

原来我只是想

想要有人陪

想被爱

想被疼

我接收了我应该放弃他

我跟他“分手”了

虽然不曾发生过

可是

他不舍

他打电话给我

我们谈了差不多一个小时

那时我真的决定了

他,不是我的

可是他喜欢我

他会主动找我

主动约我出去

虽然他不承认

可是他骗不了我

因为,

他喜欢我! ;)

Untitled.

It had been long. Well, a lot of things happened.
Trial was over. Now having the second 'wave' of trials.
Gonna waste 2 weeks because of that. I heard that SPM is in less than 1 month time.
Crap. I'm scared. T_T

:)

After so long, yes I'm gonna blog again. Just one post. Or may be two. I don't really think anyone's reading it but I'm telling myself that you care ;)

So, the real SPM trials are over and now preparing for Pra-SPM which is the fake trials. Well I don't see the point for it takes up another 2 weeks which means we have 2 weeks less to study. If we're studying >_<

YES I AM studying! xD

No news from the JPJ so I'm not having much hope that the schedule of SPM will be amended. Which means I might not be going for ACTS Teens camp this year. =(((((((


There's one thing that's bothering me a lot this 3 days. I can't even recall what's velocity and momentum. If I have ever known what are they =P

YES I DO know! xD

It's not a 'he' but a 'she' which is weird. People who heard my so-called 'problem' will ask either 'Are you a lesbian?' or 'Is she a lesbian?' 


-.- NOOOOOO!!! Can't girls have super best friends?!?! But she's not my super best friend. I'd kill myself +_+

She's just bothering. I'm so fed-up but I can't give up on her since I made a promise. Stupid!

Get lost laar~ I need to study for SPM xP



-wink-

Waiting.

I'm waiting for you to get bored and leave. 

Or for them to get bored and they'll leave you alone.

 God bless you.

Friend

x

What's a friend?

• A friend is someone that supports you whenever you need support. Even when you don't.
• A friend is someone that is around anytime that you need someone to talk to.
• A friend is someone that keeps all your secrets private and confidential.
• A friend is someone unselfishly willing to give up stuff that he/she likes just for you.
• A friend is someone that won't judge you.
• A friend is someone that loves to listen to what you wanna say.
• A friend is someone that helps you at whatever cost.
• A friend is someone that goes further when you need him/her to walk a short distance.
• A friend is someone that offers you food when you don't need to ask him/her.
• A friend is someone that sits beside you silently when you wanna be alone. 
• A friend is someone that is ready to hear when you're ready to share something.
• A friend is someone that won't abandon you for his/her own selfish ambitions.
• A friend is someone that won't talk to you just because he/she wants someone to listen to him/her. But because he/she wants to talk to YOU. 

I'm not a good friend. So are you ._.

last weekend~

I insisted on leaving Kuantan. Even for the weekend. To be frank, I shed tears when I thought I can't go to KL. Unexpected things happened, but still, no regrets...

At night we went to Sunway Pyramid because I said I wanna go for skating.But I heard that at that time it's close for normal visitors so I didn't go. Passed by this [Chocolate House], actually I forgot what it's called. We bought this pack of white chocolates which I walked around carrying this and popping some chocolates into my mouth every few seconds. I know it's fattening. Don't remind me :P

The moment I stopped eating was when we reached Carl's Jr restaurant.

 

We saw this on TV and thought of trying the burger. I chose Portobello Mushroom Burger!

 It's really huge and filling. My dad and I shared one of these burgers and we couldn't finish it! It tasted awesome too! ^__^

The next morning, I spent sometime at the playpen at my sister's place.

I enjoyed KL so much for the 1st time that even breathing the air there is such a joyous thing to do.

 Then, I went to ACTS church with Jonathan and his family. His family is so cute laar~ Haha xD

After 3 weeks of not being in church, Pastor Kenneth came back from wherever he was and I was so blessed to have him preach yesterday and Pastor Andy led worship. Thank God~!
Pastor Kenneth talked about law AND grace. It was so relevant to the situation in my life now. Running away like Jonah, now God made me wanna come back to change. Also,thank God for Jonathan for a word he said that has removed my mental block.

We went to my aunt's place after that. This is my cousin's dog. So cute! ^__~

 Then we headed back home. Where unexpected things happened. We got into an accident.

damaged car. I would say it's really not our fault but at the police station, they concluded that it's our fault. [GAGAL MENGAWAL KENDERAAN DAN MENYEBABKAN KEMALANGAN]

 Like what the crap?! Just because she's a Malay, the driver's a Malay, the sergeant's a Malay, then it's our fault? 1Malaysia his butt! Who's being racist here?

Sigh. There are a lot of things that we can't control or do anything about it when it happens. we can only PRAY and everything will be alright.

Praise be to God =D

try to read it?

몇 가지 일들이 그 어떤 사람들은 몰라도 돼있다. 나는 한국 드라마에 당신은 아름다워요 (Enwei 덕분에!) 할까 내가 한국에서이 게시물 그래서 기다리는거야예요 이후. 충분히주의 경우 당신은, 당신은이 게시물을 찾을 줄 읽으려고 시도하는 방법을. 그래서, 난 이미 언젠가 상당히위한하지 않은 조나단되었습니다 얘기합니다. 4 월 12 일 이후 지금까지. 내일은 내 생일이다. 윌은 그가 무슨 짓을하는지 살펴보십시오. 아 ... 난 이미 그를 그리워! T__T

몇 가지 나와 Jia Wern 사이 우리 각 사람 하루 종일 다른 얘기하지 만든 일이 있었는지. 그것은 분명 그녀가 내게 화를이야 아니면 내가 그녀의 화가이야. 그녀는 그냥 Ashvini 옆에 앉아있을거야.가끔은 내가 어떤 가까운 친구가 없어요달라고. 그렇다면, 그렇다면 자신의 감정에 대해 많이 나는 어떻게 내 기분을 지킬 수 없어 신경 필요가 없습니다. 난 아주 가까운 친구가 소원하지만, 내가 그렇게 나는 그를 갈 수 / 그녀가 내가 얘기 좀 해 ...

어쨌든, 마지막 일요일 나는 목사님 여호수아 Khong 반대했다. 나는 그 단어는 "반대"는 적합하거나 것이 아니라 난 그저 그에게 불리 갔어요 여부를 모르겠어요. 그는 내게 나쁜 응답했다. 사실은 상처의 일종 이죠. 난 내 침대에 있기 때문에 그와 같은 바보 목사의 부르 짖었다. SPM에는 그냥 빨리 마무리하고 JS 쿠안탄에 참석하고 휴가 및 KL기를 이동과 사도 행전 교회의 구성원이어야 싶어요.

Punishment?

Someone didn't switch off the air-cond at the conference room and left it on for the whole night (definitely not me) and all 9 of us are punished for that. This Saturday and Sunday, wash the church toilet. It's not that I'm not willing to do it but because of the irresponsibility of some nuisance, all of us have to accept the punishment *innocent*

Plus, he has spoken to us in a very rude way [at least I thought so] and made me unwilling to do it. He also said that I can't comprehend well what he says. Like what the crap? Can you not use your so-called London accent and speak I-don't-know-whatsoever English to me? Please use laar proper Malaysian English. Wake up from your I-am-still-in-London dream =__=

For your profession, you're the 1st that I have a feeling of distaste towards you. I don't wanna talk to you. I don't wanna speak to you. I don't wanna look at you. I don't hear your voice. I wanna go to KL......... T__T

ACTS Church or City Harvest Church would be fine! [shawn lee!!! >__<]  xD

Need

Well, this is me. I sing loudly with high frequency. What can I do? God blessed me with that. If you don't want me to sing so loudly, then I won't be really singing. I'd rather not be in the choir team. 

We're friends. Take it slowly. I'm hoping for something more. By God's grace...

I wanna go to KL!!! *desperate!*

dot dot dot

No, I'm not jealous.
Since you put it that way,

I got nothing to say~ 

May be you guys are right. 

# I need to grow up!!! >__<

not alone this year's Valentine's~~ ^__~

End of the story?

Sorry, I saw your note that you wrote to her. I was very curious. This curiosity hurt me badly. I know times are different, that the gift, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter anymore. 

I know I can't talk to you in the way I was used to. I know there are a lot of things that I can't do anymore. 

Most of the time, things that you say to me, make me wanna continue holding onto you. But the things that you do, clearly showing that you're not worth it anymore. 

Again, I'll hold this hurt, and look forward to another rainbow~ 

Hope I'll not regret doing this. Good bye for now~ =]

2nd day--1st time

The 1st day without you wasn't that bad. 

Though during lessons, 

I'd still stare blankly at the view outside the window, 

sighing and sighing...

The 2nd day which is today is so much worse. 

It's just hard to admit : I miss you.

I cried. 

sobbing sadly. 

thinking of the past. 

thinking of the future that will never come. 

Still wondering, why did this happen. 

Is this the best plan for me, Lord? 

This is what happened after I surrendered myself to Him~

Waiting by my phone when I wake up, 

anticipating a text that wishes me "good morning!" 

Looking at my phone every minutes, 

waiting for a text that will never come. 

It rings, but it'll never be you.

Holding my phone, hoping for someone,
to wish me "nitez". 

Give me good night kisses.

Now, I no longer care whether I'm safe or not. 

No longer mind if I hurt myself or not. 

No longer whining when I cut myself. 

No longer eat when I don't need to. 

Because, you won't care if I'm in danger. 

You won't mind if I'm hurt. 

You won't comfort me when I cut myself. 

You won't make me eat when I don't want to. 

I need to release my stress. 

Without AYe, I can still go work put myself. 

I ran at the school field. 

Felt so carefree. 

But the feeling, its just temporary. 

Looking for my socks, but I can't find it. 

trying my best to avoid the shelf at the corner, 

because I know,
the socks you bought for me
they are inside.

You have impacted my life so badly that, 

when you're gone, 

I'm left hanging in the air lifelessly. 

No! I'm not asking you to come back. 

And also won't want you to come back.

Look at things around me, 

can just remind me about you. 

All that you've done for me, 

all that we've done together. 

Every single thing, 

is whispering your the sound of your name. 

I can't regret I said that to you. 

But, it's too late.

I didn't know it affected you that much. 

I'm sorry~ guess you won't accept it...

I'll survive without you. 

But I'll not be the same anymore.

I'm changing.

I need to grow up!

Bye

Wow! What a blast! So many things have been happening that I can't even know where to start from. 1st, I got a new blog and ended up deleting it because I can't have the template that I want =__=

Yeah. Very stupid I know.

2ndly, I learnt a few techniques of self-defense during Taekwondo today. They're really interesting. I can scream and shout, I can run, and now, I can fight! ;) Well, at least defend myself from any physical attack =P

I'm seriously serious that I was seriously being myself during that time. Gahh... people say Benjamin is a whole lotsa fun to hang out with. Ask Alyson! 

BUT! I'm not appreciated. Gosh! hate that feeling. As a sir, well, he shouldn't be calling his students names, and to be frank, I'm hurt.

It's not my fault that I'm not allowed to go for training. 

It's not my fault that Christians can't learn Taekwondo.

Yeah, who on earth asks me to join Taekwondo? 

It's not my fault that the stupid admin dissolved my previous unit?!?!

//// Don't worry. Without you, I cannot still survive. ////

Regret soon?

Because of you once again,
I did something that I've never thought of doing.
Not even in my dreams...
But you,
because of YOU.
I did it...
I got scared,
I got nervous, (for no reason)
I got angry,
I got soooo.... like last year. The moment you came into my life, I knew it would not be the same anymore...
The past is the past. I would not want it to happen again...

I don't wanna to have anything to do with you~

No...

NO! I DON'T WANT...

that's all I can say... Again after 2 months, you brought up the same excuse to leave me. I told you how I'd be without you, but, you still ask me that...

NO! Without my agreement, you can't do that to me...

You wanna make me happy, but you don't know how much hurt you can cause me even by saying that to me...  You're UNBELIEVABLE! T_________T


Don't give up on me so easily. Don't give up on us so easily... Can you?