Yoyoyo!!

Sorry for updating for so long. I was.....well, occupied. Officially an Uni student 3 weeks ago. I love INTI. It's all I could ever asked for :D

But one issue there is the internet connection. Super terrible. I believe they're gonna fix it soon. The line is so bad that I couldn't blog at all and have to come back to Kuantan to blog. Then I realized that my lappie just couldn't blog. Which is frustrating. How to solve this problem? :(

First time being really away from parents and nope, I'm not having any problem with that because...

I will survive! :D

Let me introduce some new friends I met during OLE which is a short form for Orientation. 

This is my leader in my group. Funny guy xD

This is Crystal, my roommate. She's just like a small girl. 

I feel like I'm taking care of her all the time. Owh well :)

This is the group photo of the March intake newbies. They said we're few in numbers compared to the January intake batch =|

This is my group picture. Our group name is Rango. Don't ask why.

I'm in red. And that's Ah Yao next to me. If you're following my tweets then you'd know who I'm talking about now.

Ah Yao is acting a lil' weird recently and people think it's my fault. 

Well heyy! I didn't do anything. *innocent face*

Yao Yao. Where have you been? I missed you :'(

That's all for now. Yesterday was mum's birthday and also 1st night of Revo Kuantan. Surprisingly dad allowed me to drive to MS Garden for Revo after dinner. Having faith in the Lord works! Can't wait for tonight's PARTY :D

IMYA! ;)

When I was scrolling down,speed reading my blog post, I realized that I was supposed to blog about my colleagues. Ahh! I love them! :D


Let start with this day: 12 of February 2011 = My last day of work at Mega View Hotel aka MVH.
That day was also Nik's wedding reception which gave me superb chance to snap pictures with my colleagues. Well, now it's EX-colleagues :(

Abang Ly is the best Malay guy friend I have. He's a technician in MVH and is under the Maintenance Department. He also treated me the best!  The day before, I spent my OT with Abang Ly. 
Ms Andrea Loo which is my boss gave me a lot of work before I left & that's part of the reason why I needed to stay back to help Abang Ly with supposedly his job. That is preparing Chinese wordings backdrop. 

So after I have printed the wording out, the cutting is the 1st step:~

 I did every word and now this was the only that I couldn't do. I cut the same word wrongly twice! And I had to reprint the same word twice! D:  So I shall let the pro do his job xD

Then it's sketching the word on a piece of Styrofoam. 

The printed part is cut out so that we get the shape of the word! :)

Painting the shape of the word is next. Why we used pink color paint was because we were gonna use red glitter. So it kinda matched =|

Next! Apply glitter! :D

After that, they're put aside to dry.

After that, Abang Ly used a tool to cut the words out according to their shape. He made the tool himself! So cool rightt? :D

So basically that what I helped him with. The next day, Ms Andrea asked HR to buy some food as a farewell for me. I was so touched T_T 

Siew & Yen helping to get the food ready. Yen was the HR. I heard she left hotel too =/

Yati helping out too! :)

We had our farewell 'party' and everyone was back to work. Me? Time to snap more pictures!

Let's start with him: ~

A flirtatious married Malay man called Nadzri in the F&B department. He was nice to me too. And we had lunch together once. Haha.

Of course, Abang Ly! ;)

He's considered the cutest man in hotel. 

Other Malay girls like him alot too. So, yeah xD

This is Kamarul. We only said 'hi' & 'bye' when I was at the kitchen. Still, he's the one who always called me asking me what's up with me after I left to KL. So nice :)

This is Kak Aida. A very friendly lady from the F&B Department too. I love her! :P

Only on the last day itself I found out that they're actually siblings. 

Well, they DO look alike right? (:

The boy, Faiz is helping out in the kitchen while his sister, Ja works at the cold kitchen.

His nickname is Iem. This boy is VERY mengada. Full of nonsense but he's cute. 

HAHA. H has a very manipulative girlfriend owh my goodness -.-

He's a steward that smells good all the time and has a sweet charming smile ^_^

Let's move to the office. This was HR. Yen :) 

A pretty girl that can't live without curry but yet her face is superbly pretty :]

This is Siew, the head of Accounts department. 

Also a pretty girl. She's so enviously thin! :O

This is from the Purchasing department. Madam Cheng was the 1st person I talked to when I stepped into the office on the 1st day. Prakesh is the only man in the office :D

Abit blur :(

This is Coey, she is a pregnant Accountant. She loves to look for her missing stationaries at the Sales department and every time she does that, she'll find her lost stuff which is so funny. Then she'll start scolding and her favorite line is to ''whack your butt!" xD

I think Pauline's a pretty girl too! Tall & slim. She was waiting for her STPM results so she worked as a part-time too. She's in the Accounts dept. for she wants to be an accountant :]

This is Azani, my senior in the Sales dept. She's the one teaching me stuff & all. We didn't really interact because she's too swamped with all the work =/

Yati! I love her so much! She's super nice and we had lotsa fun arguing. 

She can be very funnily sarcastic at times. I miss her laa~ =|

last but not least, my pretty boss: Ms. Andrea Loo. The hotel is actually owned by her father but she's running it currently. Owh yes, she's married and she has a girl! 

In short that's about it. There are some nice ones that I didn't get to snap pictures with and also some that I thought I didn't need to snap pictures with them. 

Well. One of my best memories in my life. I miss them so much when I was in KL. 

I came back home and I went to hotel to visit them. Praise the Lord for I met 2 people that I wanted to see the most. Another one wasn't there yet because his shift is in the afternoon. Yeah ;D

T_T

I wanted to put "Torture" as the title for this post, but I'm afraid it'll cause some misunderstanding. TorTure = T_T

Haha. Just nice! So now I'd think when someone puts T_T , he/she means "torture" xD

So, it's the 9th day I'm in KL already. Things have been quite tough. But some things are nice too. I realized I haven't been posting much about my spiritual life which I think I should do that more often...?

I wasn't in a good mood starting yesterday morning when some random guy came & tell me that the release of SPM results is this Wednesday(tomorrow!) D: WHAT?!?! So soon?! And STPM results were out yesterday. I didn't know Malaysian examiners are so efficient in carrying out their responsibilities! 

I wanted to go back. The original plan was to go back on Friday but now, I wanna go back even sooner. NOW if possible. No, I'm not homesick, but I just don't like it here.I packed my stuff and if God permits, He'll provide bus ticket for me to go back to Kuantan.

Both my sisters are so bossy, I can say. I wonder why aren't they like other girls who are so nice to their siblings. Its in the blood maybe? I'm so tired of people telling me what I should & should NOT do. I'd appreciate them if they're good advises but sorry, they're not. Why can't I do it my way? Who made you king of everything? 

I was stressed out and didn't feel good. I didn't even eat dinner and I don't feel hungry until now. The DiGi internet thingy is killing me. I didn't click anything and it charges like ALOT! 3 bucks gone in a few seconds. Hello? What's wrong with you?

I cried. I cried to God. I complained about almost everything. He shunned me from complaining and He made me listen to what He wanted to say. He talked to me and it was so real. Why am I feeling so stressed is not I don't tell Him EVERYTHING. 

Telling Him big stuff is not what He wants from me. He wants EVERYTHING. every single feeling I have(especially the sad ones). Then I started listing out all the distaste I'm keeping to myself. And of course, He reminded me of the good things that happened too. I felt so much better. 

1 Peter 5:7 says Cast all your anxiety on him because he cares for you.

It says ALL. Not SOME. Not a FEW. This is what I learnt from Him yesterday. I feel better,but still a lil' bitter. But I'm learning to trust Him for better things to come. Amen!

Last 2 days...

Last Saturday (13/11/10) and yesterday (15/11/10) were the last 2 days of my high school life. Saturday was the End of The Year Party and yesterday was just a normal school day but with Pn. Tan See Lee's retirement 'celebration'.

Saturday was fun. Practically the best day of my high school life? May be...
A lot happened this year. Somehow it felt better without the presence of AYe. I was free. Not so self-conscious.
I managed to mend a broken friendship this year. I didn't know what happened but we stopped talking since form3. Well, we talked on Facebook, texted and all but we just don't have the initiative to start talking to each other face to face at school. Urgh~ I hate this -.-

I had another broken friendship this year. We were friends for quite sometime. It happens right. Argument and all. I wouldn't say it's all my fault or all her fault but both of us were at blame.

I tend to be an initiative person most of the time, but at times I get tired with the fact in my brain knowing that: " I have to talk to you first".

So boring. Can't you talk to me first?! =[[[[

For this ex-friend ( I don't count her as my friend anymore), we are not talking. There's no need to talk, neither do I want to talk to her. I don't even wanna hear her voice. Freakishly annoying. I guess it's mainly my fault. I might still hold grudges, which I shouldn't. As a Christian, that's just not right. For a person that was so close to us before, it just seemed a bit too hard.

I pray all the time asking God to help me to forgive her and to love her as Jesus wants us to. But it's not easy. Especially I have to see her in school.. Imagine the happiness I felt whenever she's absent and I'm not ^_^

Worse still, I sit behind her during every exam this year. Including SPM. Sigh. It's okie. I woun't have to hear her voice because we're not supposed to talk. Phew~

Back to happy stuff. The party was just fun! Taking pictures with most of my buddies with a camera that doesn't belong to me (sigh)
And Jie Wen, we were close but again we stopped talking. Much awkwardness but now, we seem to be quite good already! Yay!

:)

After so long, yes I'm gonna blog again. Just one post. Or may be two. I don't really think anyone's reading it but I'm telling myself that you care ;)

So, the real SPM trials are over and now preparing for Pra-SPM which is the fake trials. Well I don't see the point for it takes up another 2 weeks which means we have 2 weeks less to study. If we're studying >_<

YES I AM studying! xD

No news from the JPJ so I'm not having much hope that the schedule of SPM will be amended. Which means I might not be going for ACTS Teens camp this year. =(((((((


There's one thing that's bothering me a lot this 3 days. I can't even recall what's velocity and momentum. If I have ever known what are they =P

YES I DO know! xD

It's not a 'he' but a 'she' which is weird. People who heard my so-called 'problem' will ask either 'Are you a lesbian?' or 'Is she a lesbian?' 


-.- NOOOOOO!!! Can't girls have super best friends?!?! But she's not my super best friend. I'd kill myself +_+

She's just bothering. I'm so fed-up but I can't give up on her since I made a promise. Stupid!

Get lost laar~ I need to study for SPM xP



-wink-

Friend

x

What's a friend?

• A friend is someone that supports you whenever you need support. Even when you don't.
• A friend is someone that is around anytime that you need someone to talk to.
• A friend is someone that keeps all your secrets private and confidential.
• A friend is someone unselfishly willing to give up stuff that he/she likes just for you.
• A friend is someone that won't judge you.
• A friend is someone that loves to listen to what you wanna say.
• A friend is someone that helps you at whatever cost.
• A friend is someone that goes further when you need him/her to walk a short distance.
• A friend is someone that offers you food when you don't need to ask him/her.
• A friend is someone that sits beside you silently when you wanna be alone. 
• A friend is someone that is ready to hear when you're ready to share something.
• A friend is someone that won't abandon you for his/her own selfish ambitions.
• A friend is someone that won't talk to you just because he/she wants someone to listen to him/her. But because he/she wants to talk to YOU. 

I'm not a good friend. So are you ._.

try to read it?

몇 가지 일들이 그 어떤 사람들은 몰라도 돼있다. 나는 한국 드라마에 당신은 아름다워요 (Enwei 덕분에!) 할까 내가 한국에서이 게시물 그래서 기다리는거야예요 이후. 충분히주의 경우 당신은, 당신은이 게시물을 찾을 줄 읽으려고 시도하는 방법을. 그래서, 난 이미 언젠가 상당히위한하지 않은 조나단되었습니다 얘기합니다. 4 월 12 일 이후 지금까지. 내일은 내 생일이다. 윌은 그가 무슨 짓을하는지 살펴보십시오. 아 ... 난 이미 그를 그리워! T__T

몇 가지 나와 Jia Wern 사이 우리 각 사람 하루 종일 다른 얘기하지 만든 일이 있었는지. 그것은 분명 그녀가 내게 화를이야 아니면 내가 그녀의 화가이야. 그녀는 그냥 Ashvini 옆에 앉아있을거야.가끔은 내가 어떤 가까운 친구가 없어요달라고. 그렇다면, 그렇다면 자신의 감정에 대해 많이 나는 어떻게 내 기분을 지킬 수 없어 신경 필요가 없습니다. 난 아주 가까운 친구가 소원하지만, 내가 그렇게 나는 그를 갈 수 / 그녀가 내가 얘기 좀 해 ...

어쨌든, 마지막 일요일 나는 목사님 여호수아 Khong 반대했다. 나는 그 단어는 "반대"는 적합하거나 것이 아니라 난 그저 그에게 불리 갔어요 여부를 모르겠어요. 그는 내게 나쁜 응답했다. 사실은 상처의 일종 이죠. 난 내 침대에 있기 때문에 그와 같은 바보 목사의 부르 짖었다. SPM에는 그냥 빨리 마무리하고 JS 쿠안탄에 참석하고 휴가 및 KL기를 이동과 사도 행전 교회의 구성원이어야 싶어요.

SPM results

Today is the announcement day of 2009 SPM results. A day of hope, disappointment, laughter, tears, happiness, sorrow, thankful and regret...
Can't believe my ex-head prefect got 10 A+ but 1 B+. As usual, Chinese. Spoiling the cert. But, no choice, I still have to take Chinese.

Sadly, this is the day where I'd see you in school. Well, not so if I choose to not step out of my class. I really don't know why are you so angry with me. Just because of what I told you? Forget about that laaR~ it's NOTHING!

Not answering my questions, not replying my texts. Fine! If that makes you happy...

__helplessly helpless__

End of the story?

Sorry, I saw your note that you wrote to her. I was very curious. This curiosity hurt me badly. I know times are different, that the gift, it doesn't mean anything. It doesn't matter anymore. 

I know I can't talk to you in the way I was used to. I know there are a lot of things that I can't do anymore. 

Most of the time, things that you say to me, make me wanna continue holding onto you. But the things that you do, clearly showing that you're not worth it anymore. 

Again, I'll hold this hurt, and look forward to another rainbow~ 

Hope I'll not regret doing this. Good bye for now~ =]

2nd day--1st time

The 1st day without you wasn't that bad. 

Though during lessons, 

I'd still stare blankly at the view outside the window, 

sighing and sighing...

The 2nd day which is today is so much worse. 

It's just hard to admit : I miss you.

I cried. 

sobbing sadly. 

thinking of the past. 

thinking of the future that will never come. 

Still wondering, why did this happen. 

Is this the best plan for me, Lord? 

This is what happened after I surrendered myself to Him~

Waiting by my phone when I wake up, 

anticipating a text that wishes me "good morning!" 

Looking at my phone every minutes, 

waiting for a text that will never come. 

It rings, but it'll never be you.

Holding my phone, hoping for someone,
to wish me "nitez". 

Give me good night kisses.

Now, I no longer care whether I'm safe or not. 

No longer mind if I hurt myself or not. 

No longer whining when I cut myself. 

No longer eat when I don't need to. 

Because, you won't care if I'm in danger. 

You won't mind if I'm hurt. 

You won't comfort me when I cut myself. 

You won't make me eat when I don't want to. 

I need to release my stress. 

Without AYe, I can still go work put myself. 

I ran at the school field. 

Felt so carefree. 

But the feeling, its just temporary. 

Looking for my socks, but I can't find it. 

trying my best to avoid the shelf at the corner, 

because I know,
the socks you bought for me
they are inside.

You have impacted my life so badly that, 

when you're gone, 

I'm left hanging in the air lifelessly. 

No! I'm not asking you to come back. 

And also won't want you to come back.

Look at things around me, 

can just remind me about you. 

All that you've done for me, 

all that we've done together. 

Every single thing, 

is whispering your the sound of your name. 

I can't regret I said that to you. 

But, it's too late.

I didn't know it affected you that much. 

I'm sorry~ guess you won't accept it...

I'll survive without you. 

But I'll not be the same anymore.

I'm changing.

I need to grow up!

Bye

Wow! What a blast! So many things have been happening that I can't even know where to start from. 1st, I got a new blog and ended up deleting it because I can't have the template that I want =__=

Yeah. Very stupid I know.

2ndly, I learnt a few techniques of self-defense during Taekwondo today. They're really interesting. I can scream and shout, I can run, and now, I can fight! ;) Well, at least defend myself from any physical attack =P

I'm seriously serious that I was seriously being myself during that time. Gahh... people say Benjamin is a whole lotsa fun to hang out with. Ask Alyson! 

BUT! I'm not appreciated. Gosh! hate that feeling. As a sir, well, he shouldn't be calling his students names, and to be frank, I'm hurt.

It's not my fault that I'm not allowed to go for training. 

It's not my fault that Christians can't learn Taekwondo.

Yeah, who on earth asks me to join Taekwondo? 

It's not my fault that the stupid admin dissolved my previous unit?!?!

//// Don't worry. Without you, I cannot still survive. ////

Regret soon?

Because of you once again,
I did something that I've never thought of doing.
Not even in my dreams...
But you,
because of YOU.
I did it...
I got scared,
I got nervous, (for no reason)
I got angry,
I got soooo.... like last year. The moment you came into my life, I knew it would not be the same anymore...
The past is the past. I would not want it to happen again...

I don't wanna to have anything to do with you~

No...

NO! I DON'T WANT...

that's all I can say... Again after 2 months, you brought up the same excuse to leave me. I told you how I'd be without you, but, you still ask me that...

NO! Without my agreement, you can't do that to me...

You wanna make me happy, but you don't know how much hurt you can cause me even by saying that to me...  You're UNBELIEVABLE! T_________T


Don't give up on me so easily. Don't give up on us so easily... Can you?

I'm I Me Mine Myself...

There's something in my mind that I was always afraid to confess. Sometimes I feel like shouting out loud so that the whole wide world would know what is in my mind. After a second thought, I know I can't. Because the consequences are hard to bear.

I'm Jasmine. So what? I'm DFA [Desperate For Attention]. So what? I always talk very loudly. I like to scream and shout. I like release stress like that. I like to ask a lot. I like to sing in class. I like to laugh out loud. I like to do whatever that I like to do. SO WHAT?!?!

I go for things that I like. I insist on owning things that I want. If hinting is not enough, I'll ask. I'll give up soon if I don't get it. One day, if I stop asking, you can conclude that I don't want you anymore...

I'm tired of making changes in me. I'm tired of tolerating useless complaints. I'm tired of being someone that pleases other people. Who's going to please me???

I'm tired of thinking: If I'm like that, may be he won't like it. So, I better not.

I AM WHO I AM. I don't wanna do make changes in me that I don't look like me anymore, I don't act like me anymore. If you like it, God bless you. If you don't, that's your problem. God bless you more. Take it or leave it. No more stupid useless unnecessary sacrifices... No more...

[Thanks to Jonathan for editing that photo for me. What he wrote gave me the courage to be myself :) ]

There's no turning back...

What already happened, it already happened.

Benjamin:......

.... So many things happened recently that I can't mention everything here. But I felt heartache for her. The last time she got hurt so badly was because of AYe. She took quite some time to "recover", to be like herself again. I was so glad :D

But when she was let loose just for few months, she got hurt again. It was my fault. I didn't look after her properly. I didn't stand in her way when she was about to get hurt...

Now, what can I do? Stop her from getting involved? She won't listen to me. She'd rather get hurt again than being away for long. The least I can do now is to protect her again. From mentally and emotionally hurt.

I will make sure she will think more than twice before deciding on something. Especially whether to do something. I will make her opt out if I see danger ahead. No matter what, I will protect her from being hurt again. Even though I'm not needed..."

Talk To Me

It hurts me more when you're hurt.

From last time (when I grew slightly more mature) until now I've been emphasizing on the  

importance of  

COMMUNICATION!!!

Since it's over, what more can I say?

--Talk to me--

--Don't believe easily what the 3rd party has to say--

--O Lord, rescue me!!! T__T --

...

I forgot what i wanted to blog about...

... to be continued...

School

School is a disaster. With disasterous teachers and disasterous homeworks!!! Gosh I'm hating school already. Teachers give homeworks like we live to do them. Like we live FOR them only. teachers give homeworks like they're free of charge! Which of course they're not. Waste time waste paper waste money waste oxygen shouting in desperation.

Daddy, I don't wanna go to school. I don't wanna sit for SPM T^T

2-0-1-0

Another year is here. I'm officially form5. Okie maybe not that official yet. I'm scared of SPM already. I don't wanna go back to school.

Didn't blog for quite some time. I was terribly sick. And still sick. Last few days of the year also got sick. How sad... what also cannot eat, cannot go out, cannot do work (yay!)

Gahhh........

One of those days...

I was organizing my photos in Friendster and realized something: Friendster sucks badly.
And found all those pictures I once have taken and uploaded. Memories are back...
But I still miss Svinina =X

This was taken during Jessel & Chiew Tze's wedding dinner.
Alisson, Wilfred and I.
That time she still had her long hair and my short hair.
How nice...

This was my first time taking photo with Jonathan with my long hair~
I think it was when I was form2.
How much we have changed...

This was taken when I was form 2 after straightening my hair.
Now, she [Harn Jun] changed a lot.