Choices...

I went "jogging" with AYe yesterday. Because I was cycling but she was jogging. When we reached Taman Gelora, she said she didn't like the weather. It was windy & cooling. Looked like it was raining soon. So, we didn't jog. Just walk around chit-chatting ^__^
We took photos that I can't upload it here, sadly. But it's okie.
I'll keep it to myself. I got bitten by red ants when I was on the sandy area. 3 bites and 1 scratch on my calf. They're itching so badly but I can't scratch.
I have got enough scars.Everytime I go out with her sure something will happen.
Guess I would need to suscribe more health & safety insurances.

Someone saw us together yesterday. Someone that we wanted to hide the truth from. Someone that I want to hide thre truth from. Why was I so paranoid?
Why did I wanna cycle off when she saw me? Why can't we approach her and just say hi? Why can't I let her know that we know each other?
I don't know. I'm used to keep our relationship from being known.
This is the 3rd week that I'm doing this.

This is my promise to you:
Next week will be the last(4th) week that I'll be doing this.
From 9th of August onwards, I won't care what other people think about me.
I won't care what they wanna say about me.
I'll just walk with you in school like normal friends do.
I'll just talk to you without looking around nervously.
I won't care to run away when people see us together.
I wanna be called "friends" with you.
I don't wanna lie anymore about our relationship.
I would just say: " Yes! I know her " when people ask about us.
Today, I felt free in school. Only some knew why. I knew why.
I've again crossed the invisible line. Though I told her to stay away from the line.
Why did I do that? The freedom I had today.
I had a talk with Ashvini today. She said I should stop caring about her.
Because she doesn't even care about me. She didn't even do anything with her friends about me. And I know she won't do anything. Even AYe did something to me that she won't even do. And I've only known AYe for 3 weeks.
My task with her, is to make her happy. But I'm not. When can I be myself and have fun? With AYe. maybe that's why I'd rather argue with AYe than talk to her.
I don't know what I want.I'm not in the situation that I have to choose either.
Like Bella needs to choose Edward or Jacob in Twilight saga.
But still, a decision has to be made.
I think I've made a choice.

-lacking of wisdom-
-Ben'JazZ xD-